Emily in India

HOMESICK. (I know, I know…. cringe) After the waves of sadness that Bryan is no longer here and gratitude for the time we had together, homesickness has set in. I’ve had trouble sleeping and bursting into tears spontaneously has become… not uncommon.

Bry left on a Friday night (September 29) and I had a long, lonely weekend (Monday October 2 was a holiday). I went for meals, exercised, wrote blog posts, and tracked his flights and talked with him on his layovers. Saturday and Monday were the hardest but a couple weeks later and I’m still having a rough go!

Having Bryan here was incredible. Experiencing this city and country with him was beautiful. Pretending for a few days that we live here together was a dream. I shouldn’t have been surprised but the sadness that lingered long after he left, and how that evolved into complete homesickness caught me off guard. I was sad, teary, lonely, unmotivated to work, didn’t want to be alone but didn’t want to be with anyone who isn’t Bryan. I got back to work on Tuesday and it was a little bit of a distraction but honestly, the sadness and loneliness persisted. I was irritable with the hotel and staff, annoyed at the traffic, frustrated by some work happenings, etc. It all boiled down to the fact that I had just gotten a 2-weeklong reminder of why I married Bryan, how much fun we have together, how much funnier life is with him, how nice it is to be comfortable with him, etc. etc. etc.

I miss him and home every day – that goes without saying. The weekend, week, and weekend following Bryan’s visit were just heavier, deeper, sadder.

Work this week has taken me away from anything I prefer to think about over work. 12 hour days, late night calls, proposals, meetings, new initiatives… so much has been happening this week to distract me. I feel more “here” again and being able to talk to Bryan twice a day has made me sooo happy instead of sad all over again.

Also, I booked my flight for my first home visit in December so we’ve already got a date to countdown to. And we’ll have A MONTH together then. We’ll be able to celebrate Christmas Eve, Christmas, New Years Eve, New Years Day – our anniversary, and my birthday together. I couldn’t be more excited.